What am I doing? I don't know!

feeling lost and confused. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I can't get into the industry cos I have no experience. So what the fuck. It's like getting stuck between a rock and a hard place. There's nothing you can do, but keep trying. Somehow miracles will happen. I hope.

I miss Melissa, I love the way she smiles, the way she makes me feel. Some how, she's gone and she'll never be back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect.

if i looked back at today..

"I had saturated my brain with wordings of Experience, marine , Autocad , Apply, that my brain would no longer take in any more or read through any other job ads. 2 year, 3 years, 10 years... Every kind of job requires experience of some kind. Work finding was getting more and more frustrating. I had tempted to find a parttime job that would pay much less than what I was expected to earn. I felt despair. I was a graduate fresh out of school, with not even an ounce of experience in my pocket, yet the only thing that kept me going was getting a better and higher paying job with better prospective than SW.

A great person once told me, find a job you enjoy and never work a day.
A job that I liked. hmmm.. Whatever could that be?

The sky's the limit me, yet I was brainwashed by corporate NUS into getting a job for maritime industries. I had gotten a job alert ad in my email for a Trainer position at the Singapore Jurong bird park. I had no interest in Birds, let alone speaking to an audience and doing shows for them. Why was this in my email at all?

The truth was if I had succumbed to that thought of being a bird trainer, I wouldn't be the CEO of xxxx coy commanding a multibillion industry and writing this memoir. So people, following your dreams is bullshit. Work for money. Money makes the world go round. Now, that is the absolute truth."

Ok now to set this in motion